Would you agree that sexual attraction is one of the strongest forces in existence?
Let’s face it, the continuation of life depends on sexuality being irresistibly compelling to us, and it is!
So what is sexual attraction?
Sexual attraction is the feeling of being drawn to another based on sexual desire.
And what creates sexual attraction?
Some experts say that sexual attraction is caused by biological chemical reactions in your body that are based on your genetic compatibility with another person, on how healthy and likely to survive your offspring would be. And there is certainly evidence that this plays a strong role in sexual attraction.
However, you are more complex than your biology alone.
Multiple factors, both your individual mental, emotional and physical makeup and past sexual experiences, as well as your cultural environment and conditioning, affect what will fire up or put the brakes on your libido and attractions.
There is also a more mysterious part of the human erotic psyche which plays out in the realms of beauty, creativity, merging, transcendence and energy more than those of biology, emotion or psychology.
Sexual attraction exerts a strong pull on us, creating a particularly intense type of desire.
The pleasure of sexuality, its exciting and enlivening nature, the cascades of feel-good and bonding hormones that are released, the spectrum of experiences from primal to Spiritual, produce states so joyful, profound and fulfilling that you can be convinced this must be love!
However, while you can certainly enjoy love and great sex with the same person, it is also completely possible to have powerful sexual experiences without being in love. You may have experienced this, an intensely pleasurable sexual experience with someone you didn’t love (or even necessarily like), with whom you had little in common and no plans for a future with?
For some people this causes great confusion and inner conflict.
So let’s be clear…
Sexual interest or compatibility do not automatically mean you are in love, or that there is enough compatibility for a shared life together.
While they are both powerful, compelling and mysterious forces, Sex and Love and not the same thing and one doesn’t necessarily infer the other.
This is not to suggest that sex is unimportant, in fact when it comes to relationships, love alone is often not enough either.
Many relationships containing deep love and care between the partners struggle when other important factors are missing, and one of these factors is sexual attraction.
Research has shown that sexual/physical attraction is in the top 5 compatibility factors that contribute to happy lasting relationships.
(…more about that in a future article on Compatibility!)
So, while not the same, these two powerful and mysterious forces of love and sexuality both seem to have a big impact in our intimate lives.
How about you? How do these forces interact and play out in your life?
*NOTE: I honour the diversity and richness of human beings. We are each individual and unique.
I respect that some people identify as asexual and aromantic. This article is not intended to be exhaustive or proscriptive, but rather to provide food for individual thought and reflection.
I wish you and a rich and joyous Lovers Journey, however that looks for you.
Find Martina on Social Media: @myloversjourney