Create a powerful Relationship Vision with this step-by-step guide.
Plus, 3 bonus Love Hacks to create magic straight away!
Deep down, you already know what your ideal life and relationship would look and feel like, don’t you? You even know how it tastes and smells.
Your heart’s desires whisper to you. Images, dreams and longings arise from a deep and precious place inside you.
The question is, do you listen? Do you share these desires with your partner?
It is bold to listen, bolder still to share and boldest of all to know you are worthy of the love you long for, and that you can create it.
Don’t leave it to chance hinting and hoping any longer. Your partner cannot magically know what you need and give it all to you.
So, let’s talk about that life of love you desire, and then let’s create it!
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t…you’re right.”
Henry Ford
What is a Relationship Vision?
A Relationship Vision is a simple concept, yet creating one provides so much.
The essence of any vision is to explore your dreams and desires in an open, curious, imaginative way. This exploration will naturally provide you with more honesty and clarity.
Next, write down, in detail, how your ideal intimate life looks and feels.
This can be done by yourself, with a friend, in a small group or, if you’re in an intimate relationship, with your partner.
A Relationship Vision is a powerful tool for focusing on what you do want, instead of on what you don’t
This clarity and focus can help you attract the right partner, or create more love and intimacy in an existing relationship.
Looking at and reading your relationship vision regularly, sends powerful messages to your subconscious mind.
By doing this, you will, over time, replace old, unhelpful patterns with new ways of thinking, feeling and behaving. You are creating new neural pathways and removing blocks to intimacy.
Create a Relationship vision with your partner to expand and energise your relationship.
When you dare to dream and go for what you truly desire, you allow a bigger, more authentic part of you to be expressed.
You and your partner may discover wonderful things about one another you never knew.
Sharing this part of yourself can feel vulnerable, and yet it is a vital step into deeper intimacy and trust, bringing depth, connection and energy to your relationship.
Your relationship vision reflects the essential qualities and dreams you have for your relationship.
6Steps to Create your Relationship Vision:
Step 1: Write down, in your own way, your vision of how you want your romantic life to look.
Use your imagination. Listen to your heart’s whisperings and let this step flow out of you. This is not the time to ‘settle’ for what you’re used to or what you think is the best you can get.
Aim high and visualise exactly what you truly desire.
This may come out as a story, in bullet points or as images in your mind.
For those who are single and would like a partner, imagine how it will feel to be with this partner when they show up in your life.
If you are single and want better relationships, but not necessarily a partner, you might write things like ‘I enjoy fun and uplifting social time with friends’ or ‘ I experience deep emotional intimacy and support with many like-minded friends.’
And if you are in a relationship, envision your actual relationship together as you would ideally love it to be.
Consider each area of your life:
For example: How do you feel when you’re with this person? What do you enjoy doing together? What are your social life, sex life and family life like? How do you balance your careers? How do you communicate with one another?
Write in the present tense and make your statements positive. For example, instead of writing ‘We don’t criticise each other or fight much’ say ‘We respect one another and usually live harmoniously.‘
Some examples could be:
-My partner and I laugh together often
–We both feel emotionally safe and can therefore communicate well and repair quickly after a disagreement -Our family life is harmonious, the children are thriving and we nurture and encourage them as individuals -We are supportive of one another’s careers
-Our physical relationship is wonderful, in that we regularly enjoy hugs, sensual touch and fulfilling sexuality
-We are physically healthy and inspire each another to make choices that lead to health and vitality
Consider these points and continue writing until you have covered all the areas you want and feel complete.
Step 2: Read your Relationship Vision and highlight the points that are most important to you
Also, highlight those that hold the most attraction and energy for you and any that surprised you.
*If you are creating your vision on your own, go to step 5*
Step 3: come together with your partner, friend or group, and share what you wrote
Do your very best to listen and share with curiosity and respect. It can feel vulnerable to share your deepest heart’s desires, and because of this, it is an honour to hear what others have written.
If, as you share, you get inspired by each other’s ideas, take the time to talk and dream together as you imagine new possibilities.
*If you are not creating your vision with an intimate partner, go to step 5*
Step 4: Create a shared Vision. (For those creating a vision with a partner)
If you are creating a Relationship Vision with your partner, it is now time to discover which points are the most important to both of you.
Discuss your visions together and ultimately create a combined vision.
Express this vision in the positive, it should make you feel great just reading it!
If you find areas where your visions differ, get creative and find a way to refine it so that both your needs are met. You can also explore how to support each other’s dreams, even when some of them don’t involve you.
For example, if my partner had a dream to explore the desert, and I don’t like going to the desert, I support him to have that adventure with a buddy.
Respecting and supporting one another’s individual dreams builds trust and strengthens relationships.
Step 5: Display your vision in a beautiful way.
Your subconscious mind responds powerfully to images and symbols, therefore, I recommend adding pictures that express the energy you want to have present in your relationship. These could be cutouts from magazines, photos or drawings.
You can also use decorative calligraphy, put your vision in a frame, and any other creative way you think of to add beauty and power.
Step 6: Display your vision where you’ll see it every day.
Look at your relationship vision and read it (with your partner if you are sharing this) regularly. Add to and refine it as new inspirations and dreams arise…see Love Hack #1!
Love Hack #1
Create your vision when you are in a relaxed and expanded state.
Creating and refining your Relationship Vision when you’re feeling relaxed and expansive is extra powerful.
On holidays, after a fun evening out, an uplifting workshop or retreat is ideal.
The beginning of a new year or season is also a perfect time, as your attention is naturally turning to what this new phase will bring.
Remember occasions when you’ve been on holiday and you came home with a whole new perspective?
At such times, you are relaxed and out of your usual routine, and therefore the power of your subconscious and your creativity are more easily available. Because of this, you can see the bigger picture of your life.
Creating, refining and adding to your vision in these moments will significantly add power to the process.
My partner and I often come home from a time away filled with new ideas and inspirations. We now know to talk about them and put them in writing before we get back into our day-to-day routine when they could easily be forgotten.
Love Hack #2
Add action steps to your vision and follow through straight away.
This step takes you from strictly visioning to some planning.
Staying with the feelings and values of what you want to create, look for what you can put into action immediately…just the first step is all you need.
Simple example: if you want more fun, and quality time together, look at your schedules, mark out some time and book your favourite restaurant! Do it now!
See what gigs, events, exhibitions, flight deals […fill in the blank with whatever you’re into…] you can find, and buy the tickets/book a babysitter/ do whatever is needed. Live in the spirit of having your dream relationship now.
If a shared relationship dream is in the future, such as an overseas adventure together, open a special account and start saving. So research, look at pictures of your destination, and get specific about activities you want to do when you’re there.
” Avision iswonderful,
…a vision plus action creates magic. “
Martina Duel
Love Hack #3
Doing what you love will give you time and energy!
How often do you put things off because you don’t think you have enough time or energy?
Here’s a little-known secret that is well worth experimenting with.
Ready?
When you do what you love, even when you’re tired, you will come away uplifted and with MORE energy. Your internal state changes and time works differently.
Subsequently, feeling expanded, relaxed and filled up inside, the work you have to do next will be done more quickly, efficiently and enjoyably.
So, prioritise what energises you and your relationship and enjoy the resulting energy and happiness that ripple out into your life.
I hope you enjoy this process and reap many rewards. If you would like to share your experience, have questions or need support, please get in touch.
Author: Martina Duel Dip Couns, BScPT is a Counsellor and Workshop facilitator with a life-long curiosity and passion for understanding and healing the wounds between the sexes that lead to healthy, joyous relationships. Martina consistently delivers refreshing new points of view on all aspects of love, intimacy and human connection.
